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Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, Nerding

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4: “The Spoils of War”

August 10, 2017

Super sorry for the delay – life and lawyering happened like, a LOT this week, and it wasn’t even fun lawyering, it was “why am I not allowed to put grown adults in a time out” kinda lawyering.  Plus I had the Gummi Bears theme song stuck in my head while waiting for court appearances yes hi please trust me with your legal matter BOUNCING HERE AND THERE AND EVERYWHERE

I’m sorry if you only like reading these when I get angry, because even though I will still have some anger for this episode, this review is gonna be mostly positive – I really liked this dang episode.  This was the director’s first swing at this show and he frankly hit a home run.  I’m just v v pleased, y’all – this show can do a heck of a battle scene and when it’s good it’s just really quite good.  This entire episode felt very *not* George R. R. Martin’s writing (the dialogue and some of the plotting felt almost too clear and straightforward) but it felt pretty true to the characterization, and as much as we like to see plot happen to our characters on this show, this series *is* character-driven.  Just, thumbs-up, you stupid jerk show, ya done good, kid.

Also no Euron lol

I’m trying to break this up by scenes this time and we’ll see how it goes idk idk

Forever and always donation button over there Iron Bank-in’ it Continue Reading…

Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, Nerding

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3: “The Queen’s Justice”

August 1, 2017

Heyyyy friends slightly less yelling this episode but still some yelling of course and I think this post is super long idk idk I’m sorry or not sorry? if you like reading it? ugh I’m a cesspool of fan emotion

This ep: absolutely delicious dialogue and cinematography and plot holes the size of Jupiter

If you have donated to this blog I love you, if you haven’t, I still love you and feel free to Iron Bank me up, yo Continue Reading…

Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, Nerding

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: “Dragonstone”

July 17, 2017

Welllllcome back to your favorite friendly neighborhood dorkathon.  I am excited to be here, and again, if you’re liking what’s happening here, if you’re picking up what I’m putting down, if you’re okayI’llstop, there is a donate button in the top right corner of this page.

Also, if this is your first time here: I used to state my spoiler policy, which was that spoilers were present through the current episode, but nothing past there into the books or otherwise.  Since we are in uncharted territory, I really don’t think I have much of a spoiler policy, other than like, watch the episode first.

Additionally, I normally divide up the action by location, and I will still try to do this, but some characters are migrating around, so I’m going to do my best to group this to my own satisfaction and complaints may be directed to the Arryns’ Moon Door.  hashtagmyblogmyrules Continue Reading…

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“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

July 5, 2017

Hey friends, you may or may not have noticed something new here: there is, in fact, a PayPal donation button somewhere over here, I hope –>

You are under no obligation to donate to read this blog, and I’ma keep writing anyway, but if you’re looking for a place to throw your money sometimes, I will catch the heck out of those bills

ANYWAY

Below: alternative answers to this ridiculous interview question

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Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, Nerding

Game of Thrones Season 7 trailer breakdown

May 30, 2017

Oh snap oh SNAP

So now that I’ve accepted that the show is just gonna be kinda weird and not canon and a little fan-service-y, I’ve been having a better time with it.  Season 6 was miles better than Season 5, and Season 7 will be even better if for no other reason than we don’t have Daario. Will I still continue to reference his mediocre ass?  YOU BETCHA

It’s trailer time LEGGO Continue Reading…

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Satellite radio channels that I wish existed

February 8, 2017

So I got into a minor car accident two days before Christmas, and since my car is off getting its bumper and taillights and some other car parts I don’t know fixed, I have a rental.  It is a 2017 Kia Soul, so I currently got Soul but I’m not a soldier.  I’m not sorry.

Anyway, the car comes with satellite radio, and I love it and I also should not be trusted with it, because my first instinct was to change every preset to the hair bands station.  After getting over this impulse, I found allllll the stations, including Pop2k, which is the hits from the first decade of the millennium and contains every feeling I’ve ever had.  Gosh, that station is great, and I discovered I still know Missy’s verse in “1, 2 Step” despite not ever shaking it like jello or making the boys say hello.  Gosh darn that’s a great song.  The stations are good times and they are pretty baller with their themes (including Hair Nation… I like Def Leppard more than I should STOP JUDGING ME), but I can definitely think of some they missed.

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Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, Nerding

What Game of Thrones characters are up to between seasons 6 and 7

January 17, 2017

Jorah – is chilling at a greyscale cure hospital; has been practicing an acoustic version of Counting Crows’ “Rain King” for months; they are withholding his treatment until he stops warbling “I BELOOOONG ANYWHERE BUT IN BETWEEN”


 

Sansa – listening to Faith Hill’s “Cry” and plotting Baelish’s death

Wait that’s me

But also Sansa


Arya – just getting creepier by the day and just morphing into a more deadly Wednesday Addams

*Mushu from Mulan voice* My little baby off to destroy people


Bran – I’m a motherf*ckin’ Stark boy

Everyone else, esp. Meera – look what you’ve done


Cersei – blew up another chunk of the city because why not, this reign isn’t sustainable might as well wreck the place so they remember you

Also she has purchased even larger shoulder pads


Jaime – is frantically writing a letter to Brienne

“my sister girlfriend is cray can I come stay with you???”


Brienne – to Sansa, reading said letter: “omg what do I text back? Like I don’t wanna seem too desperate, and ugh I’m like starting this thing with Tormund maybe??? Like that beard, tho, plus he’s gonna be in the next Fast and Furious movie, but Jaime and I have *history,* you know?”


Tormund – filming Fast 8 (no really)

(I am PSYYYYYYCHED but also my HEART no seriously I genuinely enjoy the Fast and Furious movies and was very emotional over Paul Walker and I adore Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson and idk guys the heart wants what it wants)

(also if you haven’t watched the trailer yet go do it)

(Ours is the Furious)


Dany – *just intensely blasting Seven Nation Army on repeat until she lands*


Jon – “Dear Diary, literally all I want is to deeply mourn my girlfriend and pet my deathdoggie and play CoD with my half sister, but people keep putting me in charge of things

like

can u not

if it’s because of the man bun I will at least…strongly consider not wearing it anymore but no guarantees”


Sam – *continues to make that starry-eyed face indefinitely*

Gilly – okay I’m psyched that you’re psyched but I still can’t come into your manbookcave and you’re gonna be there forever so what’s the fucken plan, Mr. Gamgee


Davos – tbh I’m not sure because if I think about him too hard I start tearing up DON’T TOUCH ME

like are we gonna make him Jon’s Hand? Is that the goal? idek just don’t hurt him for like six days okay, please


Melisandre – negotiating her number of topless scenes while stating “it’s been 84 years” like old Rose in Titanic


Sandor – murdering

like this isn’t a real question, what’s he up to? murder


 

Olenna – bein’ fresh to death and sassing the heck out of everyone

Dorne – *siiiiiiigh* how did they get this so wrong

Like Alexander Siddig laughing in the background all “I MAY BE DEAD BUT I’M OUT THIS PLOTLINE HEYYOOOO”

Pedro Pascal just smirking “miss me yet?” SO MUCH, BOO, SO MUCH

I literally just had to go look up the Sand Snakes’ names, because I care so little, and now I’m mad because they are pretty cool in the books, or at least not terrible

I FIGHT FOR DORNE, WHO DO YOU FIGHT FOR idk like, better writers, I guess, and less stupid


Yara – dating Dany

for the record, this ship is called “The Iron Fleet” and I am On Board

It’s not really called that, I just call it that but they’d make a really cute couple


Theon – getting better therapy than “rub some dirt in it” from his sister, I hope


Tyrion – receiving something he hasn’t earned

Your Fave is Problematic


 

Margaery and The Blackfish and Roose Bolton – off commiserating somewhere that they didn’t get great death scenes

The Blackfish because his was off camera and it gets reported to us by some nameless soldier goshdarn it I’m still mad about it

Roose because that was bullshit and if Ramsay was ever gonna kill him it’d be with poison because Ramsay is a coward (miss u and ur swishy cloak, Roose)

Margaery because her last outfit was a turtleneck with like 8 layers and girl is not about that life


Euron – “building” ships with the exactly zero trees that are on the Iron Islands uuggghh worst kingsmoot ever


Daario – LOLOLOL WHO CARES HE OFF THE SHOW doofus Keith who plays the Red and Yellow Knight at Medieval Times on Tuesdays and for two shows on Fridays got dropped like the generic sidepiece he is

 

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I watch plenty of other terrible television

October 17, 2016

Game of Thrones burrrrrrnnnnn ooooooh

Okay, that’s actually abundantly false.  Both for the reason that I don’t watch all that much TV so I can never understand any of the references people make, and also because it’s not all bad.  Like, I’m in season 6 of The Good Wife.  I watched Band of Brothers and Mr. Robot.  And Making a Murderer.  I’m hip, I’m with it.  Television is a quality medium that is telling real stories oh my God is Say Yes to the Dress on

No, but seriously, I’ve actually gotten pretty into a few other shows over the past few years, and if you wanna chat about terrible TV with me, here they are!

Banshee

Oh my goodness, was this show absurd.  This was a Cinemax one (so yes, nudity abounds because what else are you gonna do, Cinemax?) that lasted for 4 seasons and was campy, gory, ridiculousness.  Premise: dude has just gotten out of prison and he was in there for 15 years for robbery because he and his girlfriend, both master thieves, tried to rip off their crime boss.  He got caught on purpose, she went free, he’s gonna go find her.  She’s got a new name, kids, etc etc in the most boring-ass town in Pennsylvania, and he’s like BUT I LOVE YOU and she’s like “boy, bye.”  Conveniently, there’s a new sheriff in town (no really) but no one knows what he looks like and he gets dead in front of our dude so dude is like “I’m the sheriff now” and we go from there.

There’s Ukranian mob bosses, a Korean drag queen computer hacker, a local American-Indian-run casino, a police force of 4 people, neo-Nazis, Frankie Faison, oh God I sound like Stefon.  This club has everything.  It also has the weirdest and coolest crime lord ever in Kai Proctor, who is a former Amish who now does every bad thing you can imagine and then some ugh he’s so gross and great.

The show is hella more diverse than Game of Thrones, although it did a crappy thing and gave nearly every Native part to a non-Native actor.  It is also so much sex.  So much.  For no reason.  No plot happens.  We legit skipped every single one of the sex scenes and missed nothing.  Fight the Skinemax power.  Anyway, show is absolutely bonkers and absurd and I kinda loved it for the trashiness that it is.  Please do not get distracted by the main character’s habit of licking his lower lip all the time bwahahaha enjoy, suckerssss

Teen Wolf

You know what?  Meet me outside, I’ll bring it.  This is a genuinely great show, not even in the above “it’s campy goodness” NO, I STAND BY THIS. SHOW IS GOOD. It is creepy as heck and everyone, including the parents, is way too attractive for their own good but it is just quality television.  Also one of the werewolf dudes is now Superman on “Supergirl” and I’m kinda banking on him turning into Superwolf at some point.

Guys, seriously.  *teen girl voice* you guysssss it’s so gooooood.  Seriously just watch this show and get creeped out and enjoy all the perfect rays of sunshine that are the characters and wonder why if everyone keeps like, dying at prom, why don’t people move out of this 10,000-person town

also the soundtrack is killer JUST WATCH IT

A Collection of Those USA Shows That No One Watches

Remember how in Aziz Ansari’s standup from a couple years back when he talks about seeing ads for Burn Notice and he’s like “who the hell watches Burn Notice

I DID, OKAY? AND IT WAS MAGICAL.  MAH-JIH-KAL.  LOVED EVERY SECOND.

Spy gets burned (which means “dropped by the organization he’s spying for” look the show even made me cooler), gets dumped in Miami, gets up to hijinks trying to earn money and figure out who burned him and even more stuff.  Michael spends the show mostly hanging with his ex-girlfriend Fiona who is 1. a former IRA spy and weapons expert 2. roughly 6 ounces soaking wet and 3. the greatest thing in the world; Bruce Campbell being Bruce Campbell; and his mom, Madeline, who is a standard older lady in Miami and is my queen.  There’s more characters as the show goes on but this is the core, and they are fabulous.

Michael really loves yogurt.  They give him a hard time all the time for living in Miami for years and not learning Spanish.  Sharon Gless, who plays Madeline, got an Emmy nomination.  At one point, Bruce Campbell’s character, who is running a stakeout, swings open the back doors to a van and announces, “we’ve got firearms and snacks.”  Watch this show, it’s a flippin’ delight.

Second in the lineup was Covert Affairs. Not quite as good as Burn Notice and definitely formulaic, but clever as heck and once again much more diverse.  The main character is a CIA agent played by Piper Perabo and the rest of the show is like Coyote Ugly just kidding OR AM I.  No, she’s great, the rest of the cast (including Peter Gallagher and his eyebrows) are great, and while I again would have liked to see an actually blind actor playing the part, her best friend is blind, and they do such a great job with it being important but not the most important thing about him and just, thumbs-up.  These shows are good, guys.  There’s diversity and excitement and so little “bazinga!” like just watch them or you could watch 2 Broke Girls I mean, the choice is yours

last but not least

Hawaii 5-0

Fight me.  I’m serious.  Hawaii 5-0 is amazing and this is a hill I will die on.  The show is exciting as heck and does a very good job of pulling together long plot arcs and the crime of the week (reminiscent, no joke, of The Good Wife) and knows when to wrap up stuff we’re almost bored with and keep stuff we’re enjoying.  The two main characters have some of the greatest banter you will ever see in a buddy cop comedy and at no point does it get into a “no-homo” territory – like, the two of them accidentally go to a marriage therapy retreat (it was supposed to be about managing work relationships) and there are zero gay jokes.  None.  They just sass each other.

Additionally, while the two main characters are white (and I’m not downplaying that, it’s kind of unfortunate despite how good they are), the rest of the team reflects Hawaii’s racial makeup, and the bit players do as well.  They film there, and they don’t shy away from the very real issues it faces, like the homeless population.

Lastly, Daniel Dae Kim is in this show, and they put him in henleys a lot, and just

guys, he was making a T.rex pancake for his niece a couple episodes ago and I’m NOT OKAY

watch this show

watch all the shows

come join me in my trashpile