I’m trash I’m so sorry but I will keep this up I promise okay LET’S DO THIS
Also shoutout to GRRM releasing another Arianne chapter and I really hope it was a subtle “could you stop messing up my Dorne plotline please” jab
Favorite twitter post from last week was “guy at bar: whats ur name / me: a girl has no name”
I truly appreciate Melisandre’s excellent “holy shit it worked I MEAN OF COURSE IT WORKED” move for her magic, and thank you GoT for taking Kit Harington seriously when he said “there isn’t nearly enough male nudity on the show.” I also truly appreciated his look of “oh my God I was dead if I had known there was gonna be a quiz after I came back I would have just stayed dead” and idk guys I just really like that he’s still full of emotions and grumpiness as ZombieSnow and tbh still would even with the knifewounds ILU BB. This scene was really freaking good, everybody acted their butts off (heh) and I was sold. A+ job here.
Tormund and your murder stare yesssss okay so guys have you been seeing the commercials Tormund is in for a travel service? No one dies even a little and they’re bright and cheery and it’s throwing me off. Also yes Dolorous Edd forever.
The execution felt…strange, to me. I think it was the fact that there were only 4 men up there, when it’s implied that like a Caesar-level of assassins were involved, and the focusing on the hanged faces was gruesome and overlong, even for Game of Thrones. It just, idk. This is a terrible explanation but the scene felt lost, tone-wise. I’m assuming that Jon pulled his *Samwise Gamgee voice* “BY RIGHTS I SHOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE” move because they’re gonna have him meet up with Sansa and oh GOD my heart and eh, we’ll see. Not sure it’s in character for him to leave?? Idk??? WE’LL SEE GUYS, STAY TUNED
Sam and Gilly
IIIIII don’t do well with vomiting so this scene was not entirely watched BUT Sam is an absolute prince even though he clearly wanted to be like “Gilly I love you very much and I am a lucky young man but ffs COULD YOU NOT, AT THE MOMENT”
I am liking the writing they did for Gilly: she is a sweetie, but is also super odd, and her lines are perfect for that. I’m gonna be a goshdarn mess when we see the Tarlys and oh gosh guys this could be The Most for me ILU SAM
oh God oh God oh GOD
One minor thing: Isaac you perfect little goof you grew like a thousand feet in the past few years and it’s amazingly awkward when you’re next to the Three-Eyed Raven because you’re a goddamn TREE
*script for Isaac Hempstead-Wright*: bro you gotta crouch, like, a little
TOWER OF JOY
OH MY GOD
This was a really, really, really good scene. Their casting for baby Starks has been spot-on, and this was no exception. Arthur Dayne, also spot-on. I definitely saw some bookreader frustration that he had two swords and where was Dawn and why did he stick a sword made from a star into the dirt and I get it, I really do, but the complaints felt kinda like bookwhining of the worst caliber. This was an absolutely amazing scene. You are *nervous* for Ned Stark, who obviously lives through the encounter, and Dayne has this beautiful complicated look on his face the whole time, and Bran commenting “he’s better than my father” and walking towards him and “he heard me” oh my God oh my GOD.
“What’s in the tower” aaaaaand then we leave I’M NOT OKAY. As angry as I am at having to wait for the rest of the Tower of Joy they are doing an absolutely dynamite job on these scenes and I know it’s more fun if I hate things but I CAN’T, GUYS, THIS IS GOOD
Team Ned Stark’s Same Haircut for 20 Years
No Daario and no Jorah for two weeks straight what good have I done to deserve this
Dany lookin’ at the sky like “Drogo Ex Machina literally any damn time now would be A+”
This was one of the first times that I didn’t feel grossed out by their portrayal of the Dothraki, and as much as it is clearly garbage to condemn widows to one place after their husbands die, it felt kinda good to watch an older lady be like “yeah, you know what? I had dreams too and they didn’t work out you special snowflake” because I am secretly a bitter crone inside. The scene felt very GRRM, if that makes sense? Like “I don’t care if people like you or you’re the hero or even if you’re doing something good, I will and can straight-up murder you”
Did not hate it but Daario finished shooting as an extra in the Warcraft movie so he’s back next episode dammit
Varys: “I am not a torturer…would you like to hear about how I was cut”
Everyone: “OH GOD I CONFESS I DID IT I DID IT ALL STOP TALKING PLEASE”
Varys’ scene was interesting but he is grating on me and I can’t figure out why?? I do appreciate him being like “okay since everyone else around me is incompetent lemme do this my way” but he is bug. ing. me. and I need help understanding why.
Tyrion is gonna get hit and I’m not gonna be mad about it. He’s getting back some of his sassiness, which is always fun to watch Dinklage perform (objectively “I drink and I know things” is delightful fun), but uuughhh you privileged-ass motherfucker are you really this dumb.
Tyrion: “let’s play a drinking game where I guess stuff about your life”
Missandei: “I know more languages than you can name and the only person who has ever been good to me rode off on a dragon you asshole”
Grey Worm: “literally every memory I have up until like 4 months ago was a waking nightmare I killed a puppy with my own hands”
The look they shared of “can you believe this clown?” was absolute perfection, but I’m concerned the show didn’t do it on purpose? The show loves Tyrion, even more than fans do, and I can’t tell if they stumbled into a really tone-aware moment of “Tyrion has lived an exceptionally charmed life compared to 99% of the world” or actually did it on purpose.
Play your drinking games, Lord of Privilege: Grey Worm has to go on patrol and still be pissed about Barristan ohwaitthat’sme
Hey there Qyburn you’re looking especially kindly and creepy today
and oh hey there Kevan Lannister who is like “idek guys I’m not even supposed to be alive anymore so meeting adjourned, I guess”
and hey there Ser Robert Strong slowly swinging into rooms like “lllllllladies”
and hey there Tommen you little tiny adorable thing it’s like watching a puppy bark at a bird
and hey there High Sparrow being like “I appreciate that you’re angry but have you considered listening to my very convincing argument”
“It’s not what IIIII want, it’s what the gods want” – sureJan.gif
This plot could be much, much better if they tightened it up, and I am not hating the reactions to Ser Robert Strong, and Qyburn is interesting, and Tommen could be Doing a Thing, but it’s coming across like bad Terry Goodkind fan fiction right now and bleh. We’ll see.
This has, in all honesty, not been a great plotline to watch, and they cut out so much interesting Cat of the Canals stuff that I’m annoyed, but goddamn Maisie is kill. ing. it. Like I’m kind of blown away at how good a job she’s done every year and ugh, I just love her. A Girl has a lot of feelings. Not sure this is a sustainable plotline for the whole season, but we shall see.
All my ladies listen up
If that boy ain’t givin’ up
Drink your drink
Get back your eyes
Cuz all you gotta say, is
My name is, no
My sign is, no
My number is, no
*SEVEN MINUTE LONG AIRHORN SOUND INSTEAD OF RAMSAY SCENE*
Unless this dude is getting his face chewed on by Ghost I literally do not want to see him again ever for any reason. I’m like 95% sure they’re gonna have him murder Osha and like 60% sure he’s gonna murder Rickon and uuuuuggghhh what is the POINT. WHAT IS THE POINT. REMEMBER SHAGGYDOG.
Tune in next week for MORE EMOTIONS
Joe’s first reaction to this episode: RIP SD.
If Osha is not a magical badass who fixes everything I will burn. everything. down.
As always, thank you for writing this blog, you are a delight as well as hilarious. <3.
OK, so actually now that this has already been resolved I’m OK with it, because they didn’t build her up or give us any chance of hope. I remember missing her character but the show didn’t let me get reattached to her. As soon as the scene started I knew how it would end, blarg.