Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 4: Book of the Stranger

May 22, 2016

Maybe it’s because we’re out of the books, maybe it’s because my standards have been lowered, maybe it’s because the quality is increasing, but I am significantly less annoyed this season

But still a little annoyed obvs

The Wall

This.  This is what I got into this goddamn show for.  The small moments of hope and light in the middle of nightmares, the progression of characters, the revenge, the motivations.  Jon and Sansa reuniting was perfect, and I couldn’t care less about it not being in the books.  Sansa was clearly Jon’s least favorite sibling, and he doesn’t care even a tiny bit because he *died* and what even matters any more except a familiar face that reminds him of when life was pretty okay.  Sansa was a brat when they last talked, she knows it, she apologizes, and just. My. HEART. GUYS. And when the Pink Letter arrives and Jon tries to not read aloud the part about Ramsay raping Sansa – he almost certainly knows the horrible things that have happened to her, and he’s trying to protect her from the words.  I’M NOT OKAY.

Then, we have my new favorite thing in Brienne and Tormund.  (Brienne x Jaime is still me and please forgive me my treason here but COME ON)  I stg when they showed Tormund looking at Brienne with her armor and Oathkeeper I have never boarded a ship so fast in my goddamn LIFE.  They exchange no words and I want them to date SO MUCH.  Go out on a murder spree and then also a candlelit dinner you two giant bladecuties.  Also thank you to the showrunners for making the dinner scene reminiscent of Jaime’s attempt to cut his meat after losing his hand.  Brienne you are destined for huge men with no table manners EMBRACE IT AND GET SOME

Sidenote his Wikipedia page says the actor is going to be in Fast 8 and I am SO PSYCHED

I am sad that they confirmed (?) the death of Stannis because STAN-NIS and also oh man Davos’ face and ahhh SHIREEN yes Davos you are all of us fuck last season man let’s start fresh with a new Prince that was Promised idec

The Vale

LITTLEFINGEEEEEEEER I care so LIIIIIITTLE for YOUUUUU and your insistence on talking like an Irishman trying to do a Gru from Despicable Me imitation while also having a damp paper towel in his mouth.  Petyr’s character has been so, so terrible, his treatment of Sansa made zero sense, Royce has been underused, and this kid reminds me of that sociopath kid on that episode of SVU but even less likable.  Why. Why are we watching this.  It might have been interesting had Sansa stayed there OH BURN but seriously why can we push this plotline out the Moon Door


YES. GOOD. I LOVED THIS.  Yes, part of it was Grey Worm’s fantastic little v-neck leather vest *fans self* but AHHH this was a good set of scenes!  Tyrion’s losing the people’s support! He’s totally screwed without Daenerys!  He’s trying to do good but kind of fucking up enormously because his privilege is blinding him to reality!  I am uncomfortable with the clear parallels being drawn between Tyrion and Abraham Lincoln (unless John Wilkes Booth shows up with a pistol and shoots Tyrion because that’s the kind of plot twist we look for here at Game of Thrones), but his saying that he was a slave and Missandei being like “bitch r u joking” was THE BEST THING. Grey Worm being like “yeah sure they’ll sound like they’re agreeing with you BUT THEY WON’T.”  The two of them are great, this plotline is getting less shitty, and if the showrunners don’t try to make Tyrion into an adorably drunk well-intentioned but simply outmanned genius (instead of the refuse pile he mostly is YEAH I SAID IT YOUR FAVES ARE PROBLEMATIC) I am sold.  Missandei’s look of disgust when Tyrion sends in prostitutes for the Good Masters = HERE FOR IT.

King’s Landing

I am…bored.  Is that bad?  I mean yes, Margaery looks better in prison than I do when I go to work, and I can appreciate that she’s been giving lessons to Cersei in how to smile at a man in a way that conveys “I know the hour and manner of your death” but uggghhh even Olenna is boring me.  Margaery and Loras was a wrenching moment but I am LindsayLohanElizabethTaylor.gif boooooored.  If you have thoughts I’d love to hear them but uuugghhh bored.

Iron Islands

EXCITE. I AM EXCITE.  They did a good job introducing Euron and yes I know Theon’s not there but the scene with Yara and ahhhhHHHHH THIS COULD BE GREAT.  She’s SO ANGRY AT HIM but she’s mostly angry at the world and her life and that her men died and at Theon but also at Ramsay and uuuggghhh the way she delivered the line about getting a piece of Theon delivered to them was SO GOOD.  Just this side of blaming him for his own torture because she is so done with the bullshit and she’s sad and angry and ahhhh.  Then he says he’ll support her and AHHHH.  HBO I’ma need you to not fuck this up *ahemit’stheSeastoneChaircanyouplz* it is VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.  My insane damp slaughterpirates are weirdly vital to my happiness and just DON’T SCREW UP OKAY



Tonks u deserved better

I called it when she walked in that she was going to die because these scenes are predictable and Ramsay probably called her Nymphadora at some point so obvs she wanted to kill him and bleh


Vaes Dothrak

I originally wrote that as Vase Dothrak

The Carnations that Mount the World

I’m sorry

OH HAI DAARIO, IT’S BEEN SOOOOO LONG SINCE WE SAW YOU I ALMOST FORGOT TO HATE YOUR STUPID GENERIC-ASS FACE.  Every time I have to watch him I feel like I’m at a zoo and I’m there to see like giraffes and gorillas and red pandas and shit and instead they found like a Stop n Shop grocery bag and gave it its own enclosure and are like “isn’t this why you came here”

It is not

Also definitely super here for one guy telling another guy that the important lady he wants is never gonna want him back but the first guy had some athletic sex with her at some undisclosed point in time lolol WHY JESUS CHRIST WHY IS THIS IN THE SHOW I AM ACTIVELY ROOTING FOR THE GREYSCALE

Why does every khal in this place constantly look like he just got caught Googling “what to do if marble stuck in nostril”

Okay, so, I will give it to Dany, that was cool.  That was an interesting comparison to S1E10 and it was filmed well and it works because no one but her could pull it off and okay I am here for it.  It was also marginally less gross-colonial-white-savior and…baby steps, y’all.  I’d also like to give a shoutout to Emilia for her language abilities.  Her Valyrian was boss, but her Dothraki sounds effortless and correct and I’m just hella impressed, guys.


I am not bailing yet, let’s see what happens. Season 6 we cool so far



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