Sorry sorry sorry for the post delay. I graduated Friday and my life was busy which is NO EXCUSE, I KNOW I APOLOGIZE HERE’S THE POST THAT WAS PROMISED
As a general statement I really liked this episode. Even the deviations from the book were mostly cool with me (since the producers totes check with me before they make changes). The commentary was only difficult this week because I’m trying really hard to not have any spoilers and I could do it reeeeeally easily but that would be The Meanest so hopefully I didn’t screw up, and sorry for making y’all wait forever just to say “lol can’t talk byeeeeee” about half this stuff.
Guys the Titan looked SO GOOD. I really don’t have a point here except to say that. Also just had to throw this in: oh heyyyyy Mycroft how you be
So with the Titan and Davos’ fingerless hand AND dragons we’re just blowing through our CGI budget for the season, aren’t we. Anyway. Davos is the best and while I’m still not completely on the Stannis wagon (I might never be), the argument written for him to present to the Iron Bank was freaking brilliant, and THANK YOU someone for pointing out that Tywin is an old dude and cannot live forever. The overwhelming majority of people in Westeros are not on the Walder Frey/Maester Aemon aging plan, and Tywin goes into battle if necessary. People die here all the time. Remember “you Starks are hard to kill”? And let’s be real, if my options are regent-led Tommen or Stannis, I’m Stannis all the way. Davoooooos. Love you bro.
And seriously, even the random naked women in this episode got names and lines. Progress is progress I’LL TAKE IT
Scene was not in the books but I actually really loved it of course I did DAVOOOOS
wow, such dragon, very burn
I can’t do much more dragontalk because of spoiler reasons. Dany’s temple seat looks good but it wasn’t what I pictured? I’m not sure why. It looks good, it just reminds me of the lobby of a very elite spa or something.
When reading the books, I had an immediate reaction and opinion on Hizdahr zo Loraq, but that was not the case in the show. This is probably almost entirely due to the fact that you meet Hizdahr through Dany’s POV in the books. And I kinda love it? The fact that you can’t yet get a read on this guy (is he a noblemen’s leader? a grieving son? WE MUST KNOW) is A+ directing, writing, and acting. Keep it up Joel Fry.
The Dreadfort/the Greyjoys
Thing I totally believe: women would gladly have consensual sex with Iwan Rheon
Thing I totally do not believe: there is any woman anywhere fictional or not who would have consensual sex with Ramsay Bolton
I just…ugh. Stop. Yes, Iwan Rheon is very pretty, I get it. Like I’m not gonna complain about his being shirtless: he’s very attractive. I’m just Not Here For making him into some sadistic evil genius medieval Moriarty who’s also kinda sexy and gets all the ladies. He’s a sick bastard who is terrible to all humans and worse to women, and his having a weird little girlfriend as a sidekick is just, nope. Bastard’s Boys. Also if I remember correctly they gave her the name Miranda which is just like, okay, Lizzie McGuire, you do that. Ramsay is not a “honey-you-should-see-me-in-a-crown” brilliant villain: he’s gross, the absolute grossest and I don’t like that they made him cute.
Now, to the Greyjoys. Not a book scene (or at least not exactly how they meet), but UNF. YES. I LOVED IT. Yara/Asha is being played flawlessly by Gemma Whelan, and I like that they didn’t have her smile and had her kill her guide and just be generally ruthless. She might be here to get her brother but let’s not pretend that she’s “nice.” She’s doing this because you do not be fuckin’ with the Ironborn, yo. “My brother’s dead” – ahhhh feelings. The whole scene and her reactions also set up the possibility of the kingsmoot but I’m not gonna talk any more about that until later because spoilers.
Alfie Allen needs to stop making me tear up every time I see him. My single complaint about Reek’s portrayal would be that Alfie still looks relatively fit/muscular, but I understand not wanting to starve an actor just to get one scene. I don’t know whose call it was to have him bite Yara but well done. His fear of retribution from Ramsay was both heartbreaking and incredibly intense: I knew Ramsay wasn’t going to hurt him for taking the bath, that it wasn’t a trick, but I was still scared for him, and I think the writers and Alfie are doing a wonderful job of making Reek feel real. I look forward to seeing what they’re going to do when Reek has to “play” Theon.
To summarize, yes scene, yes Yara, yes Reek, goddamn it stop letting people have consensual sex with the Bastard of Bolton no matter how pretty he looks.
GUYS. YES. SO GOOD. I’m trying really hard to not do spoilers so this part took a while and it’s not even that long. I obviously have more feelings but I need to make sure I don’t ruin the show for people.
One extra thing before I get to the trial stuff: I didn’t love the scene with Oberyn and Varys. I know they had to set up the whole “Varys is asexual” thing (and also please note he only tells his story to people he trusts and since he told Tyrion…?), but I really didn’t love the “hehe you’re kinda feminine you must like boys” thing. It’s not Oberyn-like and it’s not cool, yo. Varys is everything, bow down. Fun fact: I would watch roughly a straight month of Varys, Littlefinger, and Tywin battling back and forth at a table. Frankly, I’d watch them just raise their eyebrows at each other.
Tommen trying to king was the cutest. I was oddly nervous for him as he recited his little “I’m not even doing anything my grandpa’s got this” but d’awww. He’s a cutie. Then, watching Tywin sit on the throne in his place was kind of everything I’ve ever wanted? Not because it would be good if Tywin sat the Iron Throne, but because Charles Dance is seriously everything I’ve ever wanted for the character. Down to his little finger twitch thing that he does.
I really, really enjoyed the scene between Jaime and Tywin. The two we’ve had with them this season have been a weird compilation of a very shouty scene in the books, but I really did like it just because I felt it was a perfect portrayal of what the two characters are supposed to be at this point in the story: Jaime’s redemption arc hits an important point in Tyrion’s trial and dammit I wish I could talk more about this without ruining the whole thing. No, it’s not really book accurate, but I like it. And oh my God, Charles Dance. You don’t know if he’s lying. You don’t know his motives. UNF. It’s perfect. He’s perfect. He made Mace Tyrell fetch his quill. YES.
The trial overall was great too. Pycelle in particular was a star, and I’m oddly enjoying Oberyn’s little sassy “faaaaascinating tell us moooore ugh I wish I had a drink” comments. Peter Dinklage is excellent, and while I am somewhat frustrated with the show’s insistence that Tyrion is perfection and can do no wrong, Dinklage is playing show-Tyrion perfectly. The speech he gives at the end is very close to the book, and I’m really happy for that. (For reference, when Tyrion is waiting in the dungeons for part of his trial, he attempts to masturbate thinking of Shae. He’s not an angel, guys.)
Now, to Shae. I did not see her as a sympathetic character in the books. She’s a whore, and while we can certainly analyze this from a ton of different “women have very few choices if they wish to remain independent,” she’s certainly aware of her position, she’s paid well for it, and this whole “but I luuuuurve you” weirdness we got from her (and Tyrion!) was just bleh. The show tried to force a True Love romance here when there was none. They made her seem like she testified against Tyrion because he was like “please leave or you’ll die” and she was like “nooo I wanna stayyyyy” and then they found her and she was like “I’ll gladly do this because he Did Me Wrong” and just ugh. Stop. He paid her and liked her and she liked getting paid and didn’t hate him because he treated her well. Done. End.
HOWEVER. I saw a ton of Twitter freaking out and #fuckShae trending. Can we not? Let’s be real, Tywin and Cersei and Varys found Shae and told her “hey you testify or we kill you.” That’s what happened. With or without her testimony, he would be found guilty, since Tywin is gonna find him guilty and Mace does what Tywin says. This trial ends terribly for Tyrion no matter what, and if she doesn’t testify, she dies. You’re gonna criticize her because she said something bad about Your Fave? Sorry, nope.
I have so many more things to say and I can say literally NONE of them because it ruins everything. Gah. Okay guys, this post sucked, I’m sorry, but hopefully the next one will let me talk about more. Spoiler feelingssssss. Love you all and please tell me how you felt in the comments.