Jorah – is chilling at a greyscale cure hospital; has been practicing an acoustic version of Counting Crows’ “Rain King” for months; they are withholding his treatment until he stops warbling “I BELOOOONG ANYWHERE BUT IN BETWEEN”
Sansa – listening to Faith Hill’s “Cry” and plotting Baelish’s death
Wait that’s me
But also Sansa
Arya – just getting creepier by the day and just morphing into a more deadly Wednesday Addams
*Mushu from Mulan voice* My little baby off to destroy people
Bran – I’m a motherf*ckin’ Stark boy
Everyone else, esp. Meera – look what you’ve done
Cersei – blew up another chunk of the city because why not, this reign isn’t sustainable might as well wreck the place so they remember you
Also she has purchased even larger shoulder pads
Jaime – is frantically writing a letter to Brienne
“my sister girlfriend is cray can I come stay with you???”
Brienne – to Sansa, reading said letter: “omg what do I text back? Like I don’t wanna seem too desperate, and ugh I’m like starting this thing with Tormund maybe??? Like that beard, tho, plus he’s gonna be in the next Fast and Furious movie, but Jaime and I have *history,* you know?”
Tormund – filming Fast 8 (no really)
(I am PSYYYYYYCHED but also my HEART no seriously I genuinely enjoy the Fast and Furious movies and was very emotional over Paul Walker and I adore Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson and idk guys the heart wants what it wants)
(also if you haven’t watched the trailer yet go do it)
(Ours is the Furious)
Dany – *just intensely blasting Seven Nation Army on repeat until she lands*
Jon – “Dear Diary, literally all I want is to deeply mourn my girlfriend and pet my deathdoggie and play CoD with my half sister, but people keep putting me in charge of things
like
can u not
if it’s because of the man bun I will at least…strongly consider not wearing it anymore but no guarantees”
Sam – *continues to make that starry-eyed face indefinitely*
Gilly – okay I’m psyched that you’re psyched but I still can’t come into your manbookcave and you’re gonna be there forever so what’s the fucken plan, Mr. Gamgee
Davos – tbh I’m not sure because if I think about him too hard I start tearing up DON’T TOUCH ME
like are we gonna make him Jon’s Hand? Is that the goal? idek just don’t hurt him for like six days okay, please
Melisandre – negotiating her number of topless scenes while stating “it’s been 84 years” like old Rose in Titanic
Sandor – murdering
like this isn’t a real question, what’s he up to? murder
Olenna – bein’ fresh to death and sassing the heck out of everyone
Dorne – *siiiiiiigh* how did they get this so wrong
Like Alexander Siddig laughing in the background all “I MAY BE DEAD BUT I’M OUT THIS PLOTLINE HEYYOOOO”
Pedro Pascal just smirking “miss me yet?” SO MUCH, BOO, SO MUCH
I literally just had to go look up the Sand Snakes’ names, because I care so little, and now I’m mad because they are pretty cool in the books, or at least not terrible
I FIGHT FOR DORNE, WHO DO YOU FIGHT FOR idk like, better writers, I guess, and less stupid
Yara – dating Dany
for the record, this ship is called “The Iron Fleet” and I am On Board
It’s not really called that, I just call it that but they’d make a really cute couple
Theon – getting better therapy than “rub some dirt in it” from his sister, I hope
Tyrion – receiving something he hasn’t earned
Your Fave is Problematic
Margaery and The Blackfish and Roose Bolton – off commiserating somewhere that they didn’t get great death scenes
The Blackfish because his was off camera and it gets reported to us by some nameless soldier goshdarn it I’m still mad about it
Roose because that was bullshit and if Ramsay was ever gonna kill him it’d be with poison because Ramsay is a coward (miss u and ur swishy cloak, Roose)
Margaery because her last outfit was a turtleneck with like 8 layers and girl is not about that life
Euron – “building” ships with the exactly zero trees that are on the Iron Islands uuggghh worst kingsmoot ever
Daario – LOLOLOL WHO CARES HE OFF THE SHOW doofus Keith who plays the Red and Yellow Knight at Medieval Times on Tuesdays and for two shows on Fridays got dropped like the generic sidepiece he is