Judge: is counsel here
Me: I mean, kinda… tbh Your Honor I’m pretty tired
Judge: is counsel here
Me: I am where Vanished objects go
Judge: …
Me: into nonbeing, which is to say, everywhere
Judge: is counsel here
Me: Your Honor, I WANNA KNOW WHAT LAW IIIIIIS
Judge: Counsel-
Me: I WANT YOU TO SHOW MEEEEE
Judge: is counsel here
Me: who’s Count Cell, he sounds mysterious
Judge: …
Me: Is there a Countess Cell
Judge: COUNSEL
Judge: is counsel here
Me: *is a block away getting a soft pretzel*
Judge: is counsel he-
Me: HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OOOOOWN
Judge: is counsel here
Me:
Judge: Excuse me, is counsel here
Me: apologies, Your Honor, I was daydreaming about Daniel Dae Kim
Opposing counsel: same, tbh
Clerk: same tbh
Stenographer: same tbh
Judge: okay yeah now same tbh
Judge: is counsel here
Me: so have you ever considered having a court dog; like, you know, a dog that just hangs out in the courtroom all the time
Judge: counsel
Me: you could call him Gavel
Judge: counsel
Me: or Judge Woofington
Judge: COUNSEL
Me: okay no that’s fair I could see how that would cause confusion you don’t want two judges in one courtroom
Judge: okay I’m holding you in literally all of the contempt
Judge: is counsel here
Me: I’m making an appearance but I haven’t entered my appearance, ya feel?
Judge:
Me: opposing party don’t start till I walk in, ya feel?
Judge:
Me: I’m filling in for the other attorney he’s in court a county over I’m not entered on this case
Judge: I hate you, I hate you *so* much
Judge: is counsel here
Me: were there any psychiatrists in Panem
Judge:
Me: like even after the revolution did they start training people because I feel like Peeta really could have benefited from several years of therapy
Judge: is counsel here
Me: yo so I’ve been rewatching some Game of Thrones and can I just get your opinion on trial by combat? Like are there any circumstances under which it actually might be kinda cool
Judge:
Me: it’s cool, I know you have to uphold the rule of law and stuff I promise I won’t tell anyone
Judge: is counsel here
Me: *double-fisting Costco churros* yeah, w’sup
Judge: is counsel here
Me: goddamn do I still hate TV Daario
Judge: OMG SAME
Judge: is counsel here
Me: is everyone going to go see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them even if it sucks?
Judge:
Me: yes. the answer there is obviously yes
Judge: is counsel here
Me: should I still say yes even if I really don’t wanna be
Judge: yes
Me: okay then yes
Judge: is counsel here
Me: can I live, or
Judge: is counsel here
Me: *bursts into tears*