A definitive ranking of Halloween candy

Last year, I unfortunately missed out on being able to sit out front and hand out candy, but I am making sure that I am out front this year, perhaps with Bailey, who will be dressed as The Goodest Girl oh WAIT that’s not a costume that’s who she is.  I didn’t realize how much I’d like it, but there is a really simple joy to seeing a kid and parent just be super psyched that you gave them candy while they put on a fun outfit.  If you’re a robber baron, of course the bowls left out with no one to guard them are prime, but as a kid, I really always liked actually getting a person when I walked up.

So, while we can all agree that dressing up and getting free candy is just A+, there is some disagreement regarding what candy is the best to receive in your bag.  I’m here to lay the debate to rest for good.

IMPORTANT: these are ranked as if a child is receiving them, not me

I’m not gonna get turnt over Fun Dip now, even though that weird as hell candy was A+++ when I was a kid yes please give me powdered sugar on a stick and then let me eat the stick

ALSO IMPORTANT: for simplicity and fairness, I will be rating the “fun sized” version of each of these candies, especially since it was the most likely size you’d end up with

Full-sized candy was for rich kids and mini-sized candy is for white ladies to put on a coffee table during a dinner party  Continue reading “A definitive ranking of Halloween candy”